If you have been following my blog for the past few years, you are well aware that I am obsessed with two things: fresh guacamole and BET’s hit drama Being Mary Jane.
Now, Mary Jane and I share more in common than will ever publicly admit, but when I watch the show I just get what is going through that crazy bitch’s mind. No, I have never stolen anyone’s husband and humiliated them at a formal gala, but the psychological process and deciphering when it comes to certain issues is completely relatable to anyone willing to admit that although they may appear to be well put together, they are still far from perfect…
I know, I’m late. Life happens and I fell behind with watching my guilty pleasure. A friend of mine called me last minute notifying me he was flying into town and wanted to see me. Naturally, flights were delayed and my iPhone lit up letting me know he was going to be landing at LAX later than projected. Despite my IG and people thinking I’m a raging party animal, I’m usually dreaming of unicorns and drooling on my modern Target brand pillow cases before midnight on weekdays. What better way to keep me stimulated than my girl Mary Jane? I timed it perfectly so that I would be finished with Season 2 right when I had to hit the 110 to LAX to pick up Big Head. Well, perfect until I realized the finale had two parts. Unprepared for this startling news, I made the executive decision that my guest was going to have to join me as well as my bottle of Pinot Grigio for the final episode in the midst of the extremely early morning.
The retrieval was quick. As he basked in the glorious Downtown Los Angeles skyline that illuminated the hills, all my thoughts could muster was how Mary Jane and bae were going to solve their differences. When we made it back to my East Hollywood apartment, the video impatiently waiting for us and ready to go. So, Mary Jane was dating this older, more seasoned gentleman. One thing about Mary Jane is that her prospects never fall short of an inadequate resume. Never. She was essentially living in this man’s Atlanta glass mini mansion. Kicking off her stilettos on the marble tile when she came home from work. Memorizing gate codes. They had passed the awkward “what’s your favorite color?” or “tell me something interesting I’m going to forget in 20 mins.” stage and were existing in a state of comfortableness and progressing vulnerability. Or so we thought.
The man kept throwing away her toothbrush. Every night. Every morning. Every time she brushed her pearly whites, that toothbrush was exiled into a perfectly lined tin that hid beneath the pristine master bathroom.
So why?
As Mary Jane stood in a tri-blend oversized tee that I would imagine had the faint musk of his Tom Ford cologne, he told her that he was set in his ways, did not believe in cohabitation, marriage, or having children. Essentially, he didn’t believe in foreseen goals in a relationship…
Grab your steak knife, we’re about to get to the meat of this. #Lawrys
The next shocking remark did not come from my laptop, but from my friend was laying next to me: “I totally get what he is saying.”
PAUSE!
No literally I had to pause the show. What?! If someone is spending the night in someone’s home, not in sexy lingerie, but completely comfortable in a t-shirt… then what is the point? Where is this going? These characters have separate successful careers, no children, and are clearly not sneaking around the dorms trying to figure out their sexuality. What’s the point of seriously dating if not only do you not have future goals with this person, but you don’t even want them?
Although some of my friends and I may not see eye to eye on certain issues, I don’t keep incapable company. After he explained, to my surprise he made some really profound points that I never really thought of. He said he doesn’t get into a situation with person with exceptions and projectories. He gets in situations because he likes the person and what they are about. Simple as that. Let’s say later down the line they do decide that marriage is the right move, he will sincerely know that it’s solely because he loves the person, and not because he just found someone to meet a “goal”. And time? What’s the rush? Things in a relationship need to happen organically and not to meet a deadline or quota. Thankfully, he would have let her keep the toothbrush so she would feel more secure, but overall he resignated with the male character. This was his rebuttal… and I got it, yet I wasn’t sold.
All great points! Taking things a day at a time is how things should go. An organic manifestation of a beautiful relationship would be ideal. But at the same time people have goals when it comes to anything. Personal, career, financial. We all make progressive decisions to move forward in our lives, so why would this not apply to a romantic relationship? If someone tells you they don’t want the same things as you… believe them. Look at Karrueche’s interview with Iyanla. She said Christopher Brown didn’t want the white picket fence and full sized SUV. As much love I truly believe they still have for each other, the foundation of their relationship is built on unclear toothpicks with more and more pressure those badboys snapped. I’ve said this before. I guess it all comes down to worth and timing. Is the person worth it to make the day-to-day organic stroll through the park not knowing if your goals may or may not be met somewhere down the line? Are they worth it to let go (and potentially not be a harlot) and press forward with a solid and secure relationship? Maybe is all about timing and the universe will just let you know?
Today, I struggle with his ideology. I don’t think it’s wrong, just different, but I know there are people who have same mentality so I wanted to share. Maybe if Ben and Jennifer would have taken the organic route their 10 year marriage would have been everlasting. Who knows? But go with your instinct. Most of the time you are well aware of right from wrong.
I CAN’T WAIT FOR SEASON 3 THIS FALL!
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