Closure

The only reason I watch BET is back: Being Mary Jane.

The definition of a classy thot, Mary Jane is back in full insecure effect with her fly weave, booming career, and wine glass full of man problems. It’s ironic that they launched the second season with an issue from season one. She is still trying to get over David’s fine ass. I know that on screen it was only a few days since Mary Jane was creeching up drunk to David’s fabulous ATL home, but for viewers, Being Mary Jane has been off the air since I was living in New York almost a year ago. It seemed like such a long time and she is still not over it! After hosting a dinner party with his friends to get the scoop and then lashing out on them, reminiscing through old text messages in her doobie and piss stained bed, to then barge in on family time and again press the issue of an already broken relationship, it was clear that Mary Jane was coo coo for closure. Watching reminded me of an old pal I used to know…

His name? Jayce.

Now before I get any phone calls, texts, and/or DM’s, NO I do not piss the bed. However, watching this grown woman lose complete focus at the drop of a dead fish over a situation she shouldn’t really even be in reminded me a lot of myself. The bad part about being “Crazy In Love” is that when the love is over, you’re still fucking crazy. Jhene and Christopher Brown made the song “Drunk Texting” for old me. Except I would somehow manage to drunk text, drunk call, drunk sign language in profanity, and drunk verbally cuss you out in your face all before the sun peeked its head over Yankee stadium. Lordt, I was so spiteful. All just because I was hurt and wanted one answer. Why? Why was I not good enough? Why the other person? If we obviously have feelings for each other, then why oh why are we not together? As I got older I realized I didn’t need the answers to these questions from the other person. The only answers I needed were from myself.

There is obviously a reason why a couple is together. The gut tightening laughs. The contagious passion. The spots that were hit. But there is also a reason why a couple is no longer together. There is a wide scale from cheating asshole to pettiness as to why people break up, but the point is it happened. Whatever that reason is, it wasn’t worth it for you, them, or the both of you. You have to let it go, boo. Trust me, I’ve been there. I’ve ugly cried, prayed, and partook in communion everyday to cope with fresh reality. But closure has nothing to do with your ex. It has to you. It’s ok to miss them. We’re are all human. But you have to learn to live without them. I will always be a sucker for love, I will never be a sucker for anyone less satisfying than a ring pop.

It sucks being a single bitter bitch. So don’t. Remember the good times. Again, there was a reason why you were together. Take the blessings in the lessons. Pray and push. Just please… don’t Be Mary Jane!